Family Pushing Food While You Lose Weight?

Decide what you want before you walk in, keep your answer short and friendly, and keep something in your glass. In our experience, "I'm good for now, thanks" handles most of it. Saying yes to the wine or the dessert is allowed, and so is saying no. Either way, it's your call, and you don't owe anyone a speech.

Your plate is your business.

Your glass too.

Here's how to keep it that way, kindly.

Why is this so hard?

Because it's rarely a stranger.

It's your mom, your best friend, your sister-in-law with the good wine.

Here's what a lot of the women we coach run into:

The repeat offer. Someone pours you a glass every single visit, even after you said no last time.
The host who planned for you. They picked up your favourite bottle of bubbly. Saying no feels like turning down a gift.
The patio question. "Why aren't you drinking?" Said just loud enough for the whole table to hear.
The self-appointed expert. The person who read one article and now has opinions about your carbs.
Comments about your body. Some families have something to say no matter what. Bigger, smaller, there's always a comment.

Most of it comes from people who care about you. In a lot of families, food is how people say "I'm glad you're here."

That doesn't make it any easier to say no to.

Do I have to say no?

No. And I really mean that.

For the first 14 days of the program, we take a short break from alcohol, dairy, gluten and processed sugar. Then those foods come back.

After that, the wine, the pie and your mom's lasagna are all allowed. Your coach builds them into your plan.

What we coach is simple. Have it with intention. Pick the one or two things you actually want, enjoy them, and move on.

Most women come to us wanting to lose weight. What they actually want to lose is fat, and that happens over weeks of steady habits. One glass at your mom's doesn't change that.

So the goal is choosing. Yes when you want it. A friendly no when you don't.

More on drinks in can I drink wine and still lose fat.

What do I actually say?

Short and friendly works best. The longer the explanation, the longer the debate.

A few lines that work:

"I'm good for now, thanks." Then change the subject. It works more often than you'd think.
"That looks amazing. Just a small piece for me." You get the taste, they get their yes.
"I'm doing a two-week reset with my coach. Ask me again after." Perfect for your first 14 days. People tend to respect a plan with an end date.
"I'm going to stick with this one." Say it with a full glass in your hand, and the questions usually stop.

That full glass is our coaches' favourite trick. Soda water with lime, in a wine glass. It looks like a drink, and nobody asks.

And when you are having a drink, one of our coaches has a simple habit: a glass of water before it and a glass of water after it. Finish your last drink at least 3 hours before bed, and your sleep will thank you.

What about the person who always has an opinion?

Every table has one.

They have thoughts on your carbs, your protein, your workouts and your plate.

Here's the thing. You don't have to win that conversation. You don't even have to have it.

One of our coaches puts it simply: you can tune that out. Smile, say "it's working for me," and pass the potatoes.

Your coach is the person you talk your plan through with. The dinner table doesn't get a vote.

What if they're worried I'm not eating enough?

This one deserves a slower answer.

Sometimes the comment comes from real worry. Someone who knows you well notices you skipping meals, picking at your plate or running on empty.

If that's what you're hearing, it's worth listening.

Our plan is built on eating enough. Protein at every meal, real food, no starving. A lot of the women we coach are surprised by how much food is on their plan.

If you've been getting by on coffee and willpower, read why eating too little stalls fat loss after 40.

Tell your coach what people are saying. She'll look at what you're actually eating, with you.

And if food has started to feel like a battle, please talk to your doctor too. You deserve support with that.

How do I keep my plan without making it a big deal?

A little planning means a lot less explaining.

Eat before you go. A normal lunch with protein. Showing up starving makes every offer harder to turn down.
Bring a dish. A big salad with chicken, a tray of shrimp, a protein dish you like. You know there's something on the table for you, and nobody asks why.
Decide ahead. Pick your one or two treats before you walk in. Then "no thanks" to the rest is easy.
Tell your coach before the big ones. A family dinner, a wedding, a girls' weekend. You plan it together at your check-in.

Can we please stop pretending you have to choose between your family and your goals?

You can have both. We've helped 1,000+ women lose 10 to 20 lbs of fat in 8 weeks. Real food, real events, real families.

Holidays coming up? Here's how to get through Thanksgiving dinner without undoing your progress.

Ready for a plan you don't have to defend?

You shouldn't need a speech every time someone passes the bread.

Start with the short video on our homepage at fortyfwd.com. It walks through why your body stopped responding after 40 and the method we use to change that.

If it sounds like you, apply for a call with Chris.

He reads every application himself. On the call, he'll look at what your weeks, weekends and family dinners really look like, and tell you straight whether the program is the right fit. If it is, he walks you through the investment then, once you both know it's a fit.

Your plate.

Your glass.

Your call.

Frequently asked questions

How do I say no to food without offending my family?

Keep it short and friendly: "I'm good for now, thanks," or "Just a small piece for me." The less you explain, the less there is to debate.

What do I say when someone asks why I'm not drinking?

"I'm going to stick with this one" works, especially with soda water and lime in your glass. You don't owe anyone a reason.

Can I still drink at family dinners while trying to lose weight?

Yes. After the first 14 days, drinks come back. We suggest one glass you enjoy slowly, a glass of water before and after, and finishing your last drink at least 3 hours before bed.

How do I handle someone who keeps commenting on my food?

You don't have to win that conversation. Smile, say it's working for you, and talk your plan through with your coach instead of the dinner table.

What if my family says I'm not eating enough?

Listen, and tell your coach. Our plan is built on eating enough, with protein at every meal, and if food has started to feel like a battle, talk to your doctor too.

How do I handle family and friends who comment on what I eat or keep pushing food and drinks?