What Is "Skinny Fat" and How to Fix It

"Skinny fat" is the everyday name for having a normal or small body size with low muscle and higher body fat. You look thin in clothes and feel soft out of them. In our experience, the fix is building muscle with progressive strength training, eating enough food, especially protein, and letting go of the chase for a smaller number.

People see your size.

You feel what's underneath.

And what's underneath is something you can change.

What's actually going on when you look thin but feel soft?

I hear this one more than you'd think.

A lot of the women we talk to describe the same gap:

The compliments don't match the mirror. Friends tell you you're so lucky. You know what you see when the clothes come off.
Your middle feels softer. Same size on the tag. Different feel around your belly, arms and legs.
You're not as strong as you look. Still stuck on the same light dumbbells, and carrying the groceries feels harder than it should.
Nobody takes it seriously. Say it out loud and someone tells you to stop complaining.

Here's the thing.

What you're describing is body composition. How much of you is muscle, and how much is fat.

Your clothing size can't tell you that. Neither can the scale.

Two women can wear the same jeans and weigh the same, and have very different bodies underneath. One has more muscle. One has less.

And this isn't about thin bodies or bigger bodies. Women of every size can be low on muscle. The way you fix it is the same for all of us.

Why does it show up in your 40s?

A few things tend to stack up at once:

Muscle slips away. As we get older, muscle fades unless we give it a reason to stay.
Your hormones are moving. In perimenopause, your body tends to change where it stores fat, and for a lot of the women we coach it shows up around the middle first. More on that in why belly fat shows up in perimenopause when nothing changed.
You never needed a plan before. If you've always been on the smaller side, you may never have lifted anything heavy. You never had to. We go deeper on that in I was thin my whole life, so why is my body changing at 45?

Chris says it in three words: "Muscle is metabolism."

Less muscle, smaller engine.

What habits keep you feeling soft?

Hey ladies, listen up.

These are the three I see most, and most of them come from good intentions:

Lots of cardio. An hour on the bike, a long run, class after class. Cardio has its place, but in our experience it doesn't give your muscles much of a reason to grow.
Eating too little. Skipped breakfast, a salad for lunch, a small dinner. When you under-eat, your body tends to give up muscle first, and that's the exact muscle you're trying to build.
Skipping strength, or keeping it light. Same small dumbbells, same moves, every week. Once a weight feels easy, it stops asking your muscles for anything new.

If that's your week, you're in very good company.

You've been working hard. The effort was just pointed at a smaller number.

Why won't losing more weight fix it?

Most women come to us wanting to lose weight. What they actually want to lose is fat.

Can we please stop pretending that a smaller number on the scale fixes feeling soft?

If you eat less and do more cardio, you tend to lose some muscle along with the fat. You end up a smaller version of the same soft feeling. Then you try even harder, and the loop starts again.

The women we coach usually want something else entirely. Firmer. Stronger. Clothes that fit the way they want them to.

Chris has a name for it. Shrink wrap.

That comes from building muscle and losing fat at the same time. And when you do both, the scale is usually the slowest thing to catch up. More on that in the scale isn't moving but my clothes fit better.

So how do you fix it?

Three things, done consistently:

Lift, and keep progressing. The same key movements, a little heavier or a little harder over the weeks. That's progressive overload, and it's what gives your muscles a reason to change. Worried about getting bigger? Read what lifting really does to your shape after 40.
Eat enough, especially protein. Muscle needs food to build. We use your hand to portion your meals, with protein at each one. No calorie counting, no food scales, no macro tracking. Here's how much protein you actually need in perimenopause.
Measure what matters. Watch how your clothes fit, take progress photos and notice how much stronger you're getting.

One calm note. If eating more feels hard because of your history with food, talk to your doctor first, and tell your coach so she can build your plan with that in mind.

What does that look like with us?

Nothing extreme.

At-home workouts on video. In the 8-week Metabolic Reset, that's 5 workouts a week of about 50 minutes: 3 strength, 2 conditioning, and one of those is optional.
Simple equipment. A set of dumbbells, a Swiss ball and fabric bands.
Real food you enjoy. Your coach builds your plan around the foods you already eat, with plenty of protein.
A coach in your corner. Your dedicated coach is a woman over 40 who has done the Reset herself. Weekly check-ins, and direct access in between.

All in, it's about 4 to 5 hours a week, including food prep and check-ins.

We've helped 1,000+ women lose 10 to 20 lbs of fat in 8 weeks. Plenty of them got stronger at the same time, and their clothes noticed before anyone else did.

Ashley was doing everything right

Ashley was 44, a runner with a demanding career and three kids. She was running and eating well, and nothing was working anymore. In her video with me, she shares what changed.

Ready to build what's underneath?

You don't have to shrink to feel better in your body.

Start with the short video on our homepage at fortyfwd.com. It walks through why your body stopped responding after 40 and the method we use to change that.

If it sounds like you, apply for a call with Chris.

He reads every application himself. On the call, he'll look at how you've been training and eating, and tell you straight whether the program is the right fit. If it is, he walks you through the investment then, once you both know it's a fit.

Your size was never the whole story.

Your strength is the next chapter.

And you won't be writing it alone.

Frequently asked questions

What does "skinny fat" mean?

It's the everyday name for having a normal or small body size with low muscle and higher body fat. You look thin in clothes and feel soft out of them.

Can you be a normal weight and still feel soft?

Yes. Your weight doesn't tell you how much of you is muscle and how much is fat, so two women at the same weight can have very different bodies.

Will losing weight make me less soft?

Usually not on its own. Eating less and doing more cardio tends to cost you muscle along with fat, so you end up smaller and still soft. Building muscle while you lose fat is what changes your shape.

How can a woman over 40 build muscle?

Strength training a few times a week, with the weights getting a little heavier or harder over time, and enough food, especially protein. You can do it at home with dumbbells, a Swiss ball and fabric bands.

Do I need more cardio to tone up?

In our experience, strength training does more to change your shape. Cardio still has a place, but in our Reset it sits alongside 3 strength workouts a week.

Everyone says I look thin but I feel soft. What is "skinny fat" and how do I fix it?